I've been missing from the blog world for awhile and wanted to stop in and say hello! The past 9 months or so have been tough here and there. I took a big trip home to Washington at the end of the summer for my sister's beautiful wedding and it was wonderful. I stayed and played for 6 weeks with the kids and had a good time with family and friends. When I returned home I had to dive into real life and all the good and bad that came with being back. It was overwhelming and I was trying to be strong and brave and focus on the good that was still a huge part of my life. My family and friends were helpful as I knew I was loved and supported. I felt like I was also often praying for help and confidence as I knew that hard times were coming and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to be strong enough to make it through those hard times. I was praying for my kids, for my marriage, for my parents and siblings, for David, and for myself too. I wanted to know if I was going to be able to do the hard things that life was dealing to me. Everyone has their own tough times, and I felt like my tough times were flooding in and I was just barely keeping my head above water. When I came back home, I was coming back to a sort of new place (we moved just a few months prior) where I didn't have my roots set yet and didn't have any close friends.
Then came these two beauties along with a few other people who are now my close friends that I have so much respect and admiration for. They moved in just before I headed out to Washington and when I got back, they pulled me in and we became quick friends....and then they asked me if I wanted to run a marathon! I had been praying for strength and asking for help to know I could do the hard things, and I had a marathon on the way WAY bottom of my bucket list for some time so I jumped in and went for it!
Before I had met them, I would go running once or twice a week or play soccer with a group of guys here and there. The most I had ever ran was 4 miles, and that was really far in my mind.
I started really training in for my first marathon in October of last year and would run two times during the week for a short distance (3-7 miles) and then on Saturdays I would build up to my long runs. I would add a mile each Saturday starting with 7 the first time, then the next week I ran 8, then 9 and so on. It was tough each Saturday as that was a new distance record for me each week I added a mile. It was a beautiful time of year to be out running. I ran by a few of these bulls around town. They are all painted differently but I have no idea what the meaning behind them is.
I ran all around and up and down the Harrisburg area and I was always so fascinated with the river. It got so cold and froze this last winter and watching it slowly go from slush to 5 foot icebergs was to neat to me. It has now all melted if you were wondering.
I ran a 10k (6.2 miles) for a Thanksgiving day turkey trot and by then I had already been running 12 or so miles on my long runs, so I was excited to try and run it as fast as I could and was thrilled that I ran it in 54 minutes! My first 6 mile run in October that nearly killed me because I was so out of shape was more than 15 minutes more than that, so in just a month of training I was seeing a ton of progress. It was neat that I was getting stronger and faster!
This run was so so cold and I had a tough time warming up after I was done. I signed up Katelyn for the kids run and she didn't do it because I was worried it would be too cold for her. She got a shirt anyways and runs around the house in it as she exercises. I hope she finds exercising fun and enjoyable!
Once I got into Christmas time, I had a hard time staying with it and started sleeping in too many times and one Saturday I completely skipped my long run....so then I signed up for the marathon. I thought that if I paid the money to do it, I better not miss any more runs and at least make it worth my money!
I did seem to make my way through the different town parades through December. The sidewalks were always packed with people watching the parade, so I just ran on the street! I should have brought candy to throw or worn a Santa hat or something to look a little more festive. One time I even caught a sucker and enjoyed that while I ran!
I am glad I paid my money before Christmas, because when January came, the snow storms and sub 0 temperatures rolled in and I proved to myself how dedicated I was and got out in the snow to run. The sun started setting earlier and earlier and it was so cold! I ran with friends a few times and that was always nice to have company, but I realized that I really like running by myself. I still liked my friends, and they helped me get out in the cold sometimes when I wasn't going to but I didn't like the pacing part of running with people. I didn't like feeling like I was holding them back from going faster, or that I was going to fast (rarely) or that if I wanted to walk that they would be annoyed. They never did care, but I had a mental battle every time I ran with people and the pace matching game makes me a little crazy!
I joined a gym so that I would have no excuse about running in the snow, but then sometimes it snowed so much that they even closed the gym! I still stuck to my training schedule for the most part though. I ran about twice a week at the gym or outside if it wasn't icy or frigid, and then on Saturdays I would try my best to be brave and run no matter what the weather was like to get my long runs in.
I trained and trained and even made it on the news! The video is archived now and wasn't all that impressive. It showed me getting beat by my friend as we finished our run in the snow. And then it showed me standing and just smiling next to my two friends for a second or maybe two seconds if we round up. We were just emphasizing that we know we were crazy for running in the snowy conditions!
I trained and trained some more and then it came to race day. The most I had done was one really good 19 mile run, one miserable 20 mile run (on top of packed snow), and two tough 18 mile runs. I was nervous about how the race was going to be, but I was pretty confident that as long as it didn't snow, I would be alright!
The race started at 7:30 and the sun was just rising and it was a warm 45 degrees! Perfect for race day!!! The three of us set off and I was very clear that I did not want them to run with me. I knew they were faster than me and I knew that I don't like running with people and trying to pace at their pace. I just wanted to run my own race...so they let me!
The first half I felt really great! I probably started a little faster than I should have, but I was sort of optimistic that the energy of the race would help me to keep up that pace.
The second half of the race was definitely tougher. More hills and less energy. There were rolling hills that seemed huge, but were probably not really that bad, but after running 20 miles ANY hill is twice the size ;) This was a Rock 'n Roll Marathon and they advertise that there will be bands every other mile and cheerleader squads throughout the course too. The bands were all volunteer and their music was too loud and not that great. My favorite entertainment along the course was the two homes that played music from their porch and had a dance party in their front yard while they cheered everyone on!
I kept plugging away and the miles kept on passing by! I had a mental battle in my head of "Awesome, I am at 20 miles, only 6 left!" and then not more than 5 seconds later, "Oh no, I still have 6 miles left! ugh!" and it went back and forth at every mile marker. People always ask if I ever hit "THE WALL"...the dreaded wall. I want to say no, but I think I have to say yes. From the start, I told myself that I was going to walk at every water stop...there was a water/gatorade stop every 1 1/2-2 miles. So I walked each of those partially for a break, mostly for the reason that I can't run and drink without a sloshing mess! I also told myself that I was going to walk the uphills. I didn't realize how many there would be and I didn't specify in my mind what steepness counted as an acceptable uphill, so on some of the "flatter" hills I would run up half of it and then get my walking break the second half and then take off again for the downhill. I probably walked more than I thought I would. So maybe you could say I hit "THE WALL" like 20 times with all the drink stops and uphills :) But I sort of planned for these so I could have some breaks to look forward to along the way. I never had any moments where I felt like I just couldn't go on, I always felt recharged and ready to run after my walking breaks that were probably about 20 yards.
It felt as good as it can feel physically. I was worn out. I put all that I had into this race, and was very ready to be done. It was great to cross the finish line...a much welcomed sight! I did it!
I earned my chunky medal and my foil superhero cape...and best of all, I got my chocolate milk at the finish! That is my favorite post-run thing and I am so glad they didn't run out!
Now that it is over and I am no longer achy or sore, I am actually planning for my next one! I wasn't sure if I wanted to do another, but then David got a little whiff of the incredible awesomeness that was coming from my shoes ;)... or something... and decided he didn't want to be outdone by his wife. All this running talk over the past 5 months has rubbed off on him and he has caught on to the running bug! We are going to do one in October and I am not going to let him give up on this...or let him beat me! This next race is supposed to be considered a "fast and flat" course so I am hoping to cut a big chunk of my time off too! I am also going to have to hire a better cheering squad ;) I beat my own fans to the finish line...except for my two friends who finished the race ahead of me. We celebrated with a big juicy hamburger and ice cream at the Shake Shack. Besides my chocolate milk, a burger and ice cream was my second request!
I have learned my lesson and I have proved to myself that I really CAN do the hard things! I didn't qualify for Boston (my time was about 4:40) and I didn't win first place, but I did something that was physically and mentally tough! I surprised myself how dedicated I was getting up during the week to go to the gym or run outside before the day started at 5 AM, and ran in terrible weather because I needed to get in my long runs to stick with my training plan. I got healthier in so many ways...I cared about how much sleep I was getting so I was sleeping more, I could tell when I was eating well and fueling my body with good food, and I tuned in to my body and my water intake (I used to only drink during meal times) and I had to manage my time well and make good use of my running opportunities even if they were only at 5 AM...and I even ran off 10 pounds of my jiggles! I did it and I proved to myself that I am strong and I can handle the hard things. This process has been a wonderful time of self reflection...and running over 300 miles or so means there is a LOT of time to think about a lot of things.
I feel stronger. I feel more confident. And I am proud!
2 comments:
So I cried through this whole post! I am so so so proud of you, I can't bear not being able to give you one big hug right now! I've always known you are a tough cookie, one who relishes a challenge and can do hard things so it was no surprise to me that you chose to run a marathon and that your training happened to fall through the longest, snowiest, icy winter in a long time for your region. You proved your mettle on this one and it will bless you and your family's lives forever!
I'm so grateful for the messages of your reflection. We can do hard things. Hard things take consistent mental and physical effort and planning. We are often happiest when we run our own race but we sure do need our community of sisters wherever we can find them to keep us motivated and celebrate with us. Our bodies have needs that we need to listen to so we can do great things. Thank you so much for writing this up!!! I love you so much!!!
So proud of you!!!
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